The Root of Unhappiness
It is a pretty bold statement to claim that FEAR is the root of unhappiness, but this has been true in my life over and over again. Where fear exists, love is absent — an absence of love for yourself, your faith, and the people around you.
I only recognize fear once I have become very unhappy with my life. When I feel stuck, hopeless, and burned out, I then turn to ask myself how fear is running all of this?
I lived my life convincing myself that I wasn't afraid while allowing my actions to be driven by the fears that I refused to acknowledge.
There are two types of fears: valid fears that are real possibilities, and fears of possibilities that are much less likely to happen. Either way, our energy and attention to these fears create an attraction for us to manifest them, aka act out in a way that creates that reality.
The fear of not being able to control my environment resulted in lashing out and fighting with everything and everyone. The ultimate power struggle.
Fear of being unheard, unseen, and not respected resulted in being defensive, voicing my opinion aggressively and becoming upset when others disagreed, and isolating while waiting for people to chase me down to prove they cared.
The fear of being abandoned by a romatic partner resulted in pushing them away, hoping they prove their love to me, and texting other guys as "friends."
I could go on and on to tell you about how my fears manifested in real life even though I was convinced I didn't have any.
But I think it is more useful to address how these fears controlled my life, how I am not a victim, and what the solution to fear is.
I recently found myself buried in financial insecurity. I made a sequence of choices that led to my financial struggles, and the fear was ruling my life in very uncomfortable ways.
The more I stressed about my (financial instability,) the more often I made rash decisions under stress, (spending money to solve my money problem) that created greater (financial struggle.) I was consumed with the thoughts of (not being able to pay bills) and continued making poor choices in that low energetic frequency that proved my fear to be a reality.
You can insert anything within those parenthesis above ( ), fear of:
being a burden to others
being cheated on
having your stuff stolen
the list could go on and on probably forever.
If you are not sure about what fears are running your life, I highly recommend putting pen to paper. Take some quiet time and see what flows out.
Ask yourself, what is my fear?
Why do I have this fear?
What is my part in this fear?
I realized that the only solution for my fear is to trust that the universe has a plan for me. That anything that I am unable to control is in my soul contract, and my soul has chosen this journey for a specific reason.
It might feel unhelpful to think the only way we can combat fears is by acceptance and trust. I have been known to ask myself, "how the hell do I get to the point of faith over fear?" To make it to the point where I am capable of taking inspired action that does not result in being driven by fear?
This is where I like to go to my cards for guidance. I hope this general reading about fear will be helpful for you!
1. What do I need to know about fear?
Fear seldom exists in the present moment. When fear crops up, we are worried about things outside this moment. We are concerned about controlling outcomes, running the show of our lives, and managing well, we are essentially saying that we do not trust the universe to look out for our best interest. We are essentially saying that our ego knows better than what our soul has chosen for us. Our soul has the answers to all of our fears. When we get quiet, tap in, and focus on self-care in the presence, we give the universe a chance to work in our favor.
2. What can I do to confront fears?
I'll admit, I don't like this answer much, but the cards never lie. The answer is to take action. We can never overcome fear in our mind. Sometimes fear is not logical. Sometimes it is reasonable fear and even if we play the "what if game" with our fears, the only way we will know is by taking action and trying things out. What if I bomb this job interview? What if I nail this job interview? Well, until we go to the job interview, we will never even know.
3. What is the best way to release fears and choose love?
Trust the process. Lean into your faith. Focus on the things you can change and let go of the things you cannot. I know this is a little vague, and it is sometimes annoying when faith is the only answer, but realistically sometimes faith IS THE ONLY ANSWER. My self-reliance has failed me more times than I can count. My soul, the universe, and my spirit team, they never fail me. Through the operating laws of the universe, everything works out exactly as it should be. There is no point in burning up energy foolishly, faith is much easier to live in than fear.