Dating Lesson 3: The guy who says he doesn't want a relationship will NOT change his mind, and it has nothing to do with your worth.
Ready 4 Love Masterclass launches 02/03/2019! Until then enjoy my dating failure stories, and if any of this makes you laugh or is relatable... feel free to comment!
I once dated this guy who was very forward from the start that he did not want a relationship, and that he was currently seeing other women. He said all the other women heard the same words at the beginning of any of his casual dating experiences. I don't know why I didn't go running for the hills, but something in my mind kept saying... "this sounds like a fun challenge."
That was mistake number 1! Anything that starts as a challenge is doomed to bring out the crazy in any woman.
This guy was fun, charming, and kept me on my toes. We went to football games, bars, and had pool days with both my friends and his friends there.
It was a lot of fun until I fell for him.
I kept painting red signs green... "if he didn't really like me, then he would be trying to hide the fact that we are dating." "I bet he really does want a relationship, he just hasn't found the right girl." and the big one... "He will change his mind because I am definitely girlfriend material."
And there it was, I had placed my self worth contingent on this man changing his mind and deciding that he wanted a relationship with me.
I did everything I could to convince him to date me. I made dinners, I picked him and his friends up from the bar when they were drinking, I cleaned his house, and even planned a vacation with him.
Long story short, HE JUST DIDN'T WANT A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP! Sure what we were doing was "dating" but he didn't want to settle down, and he was upfront with that from the beginning.
To add some funny humor here, I'll cut to the chase on how I woke up from my delusional daydream.
One night I was out at the bar with a few friends. One of the other girls he was seeing was there with her friends. When he walked in, I panicked. I ran to the bathroom to gather my pent up emotions.
Unbeknownst to me, the other girl followed me into the bathroom, and just before I closed the door of the stall she swung it open and started yelling at me! She told me to back off because she and things were getting serious for her and this guy, and as long as I was around, he would never settle down with her.
That's when I found my REAL self-worth. Sitting in the stall of that dirty bar bathroom, crying my eyes out, I realized he wasn't worth all the energy and tears that had created chaos in my life for almost a year. I realized that it was better to be alone than to be with someone who couldn't see how amazing I was.
I left that bar that night a new woman, and I never answered any of his calls or texts ever again.