Dating Lesson 6: You can't stay in a broken relationship because you love his family.
Ready 4 Love Masterclass launches 02/03/2019! Until then enjoy my dating failure stories, and if any of this makes you laugh or is relatable... feel free to comment!
One of my first serious relationships taught me one of the most critical dating lessons that I have learned so far. The relationship started out great, but we were so young and started growing apart as we began figuring out who we were and what we wanted in life.
I was really close with his family, especially his mom. I basically lived with them because I was there all the time. I was included in family vacations that happened often, and his family made me feel part of from day one!
By the time I realized the relationship just wasn't working, I went into panic mode trying to figure out how to fix it. It was a frustrating feeling because there was nothing to fix. Communication was good, date nights were good, life was overall good... but I couldn't see myself being happy with him forever.
I felt trapped on the inside.
I wanted to move to a new town, and there was no way he was going with me. I could feel it in my soul that I wanted to expand my experiences of the world and that meant getting out of my small town and meeting new people. He was from another country and had experienced his own expansion. He had found his tiny piece of paradise on the small island we lived on, and there was zero chance he was open for change.
Some of the most challenging breakups are the ones that don't come with a logical reason for leaving the relationship.
That's when I realized that losing him also meant losing his family.
The loss suddenly felt more significant. It was tempting to stay because I needed his mom. I couldn't imagine life without her, but for some weird reason, I couldn't imagine being with him. It made no sense in my brain, and it was a total mind fuck.
I ripped the bandaid off. I ended the relationship and made plans to move to a new city. Those first few weeks were incredibly hard. I felt so much loss in my life and being in a new town where I knew no one was an incredibly difficult challenge.
I know it might not be the same for everyone, but when I came back into town for holidays, his mom always made time for me to go over and visit with her.
As the years went on my relationship with his mom fizzled out. I kept growing and expanding, and as much as I tried to stay in touch, life just got busy and before I knew it years had gone by without me talking to her.
At the time, losing his family was the worse thing that I could imagine happening to me, but the universe has a funny way of removing people from your life so that new people can enter that space.
New people who brought new lessons, new laughter, and new growth for me.
It is always incredibly burdensome giving something up, but we can't fit more on our plate without making room first.
I learned through that relationship that good family relationships are vital for me. I want to have healthy relationships with the families of the people who I share a life with. I know that makes things more difficult when the relationship ends, but I have also found that all good things in life are worth a bit of emotional pain.