Dating Lesson 5: A hookup did not fill my void. It's like eating cookies when I really needed fruit and veggies.
Ready 4 Love Masterclass launches 02/03/2019! Until then enjoy my dating failure stories, and if any of this makes you laugh or is relatable... feel free to comment!
I worked with this guy, and the flirting on the clock was exhilarating. He was funny, charming, and had a wit about him that kept me on my toes.
There was always this feeling of what would happen next. I knew I didn't want to date him, and I was enjoying being single, but I am going to be honest here... the attention filled something inside of me that I was missing out on fulfilling for myself!
Here I go again, getting validation of my self-worth externally...
We went to Dave and Buster's for some drinks and games. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into going out with him. I wanted his validation and attention.
The week after our date I realized he wasn't as witty or charming as I played him up to be.
My mind tricked me with a quick fix for a much deeper issue.
That void that I had before going out with him felt bigger and darker after the date.
It revealed layers of soul work that I needed to face alone but also amplified the emotions making everything feel 10 times more massive, and more burdensome to deal with.
I am the only person who can fill that void. A whole person is required for a healthy relationship, and I was nowhere near being a whole person at that time.
I realized that attention for the sake of attention is only a distraction from the bigger issue for me.
Feeling uncomfortable in my own skin isn't fixed by hearing affirmations for me.
And distractions take me further away from the solution, which is always within myself.
I had to figure out what my soul needed to build my confidence. I needed to fill up my cup before I could pour into someone else's cup, and I needed to love myself before I could truly understand loving someone else.
Settling for attention ended up being less of a bandaid then I thought it would be. I needed to raise my own energetic vibration in order to attract my ideal partner, and that meant truly looking at myself for the first time ever.